Leaving Nordstrom: Why Good Management Matters

9 months ago, if you had asked how I was doing at Nordstrom, and in life, I would have told you that I felt on top of the world. I would have expressed how nervous and excited I had been to interview for my spot in Maryland. How I had reviewed my resume and memories for what made me qualified so many times, I had started second guessing myself by the time my interview came around. Still, my qualifications shined right on through, and I was offered a position.

Not only that, but it was my first big girl retail job. I was ecstatic. It was both a commission and hourly pay job, which I figured would give me confidence to toy around with my sales game. When the time to figure out my department assignment came, I opted to be in lingerie. It was likely to be mostly girls seeking comfort or confidence, or thoughtful partners, I understood those languages.

In Maryland, I had a great time dipping my feet in the different vein of customer service. I decided to transfer though, and ultimately it was due to finding a better fitting wage. The managers over there were truly lovely. They did a wonderful job of being inclusive, present and involved. Sure, they couldn't always be with us, that's just to be expected in most service jobs, but we always knew where they were and they often would visit, supervise and help us with set up within the department or with other customers. At the very least they checked in with us in the morning, and let us know when they were leaving and whatever expectations remained for us in the evening. That overall experience left me with high hopes for the Nordstrom I was moving over to in Virginia.

Let's start by addressing the first red flags I noticed, though against my better judgement, catering to my "don't ask for too much or burden them" mindset, totally sat on and ignored:

-For starters, upon transfer my new manager Carter* had agreed to my strict schedule for school, just like my first Nordstrom store. However, within two months of being there my schedule had unraveled into such chaos. Studying only happened when I could squeeze it in, and I had already begun to miss classes. I attempted to address and fix the schedule, and Carter refused because she "does the schedules in advance" (even though the schedule should have already ben solidified and cemented by then). She told me it was up to me to find someone on the team willing to switch.

It worked the first two times but as I suspected, we all had lives and naturally wouldn't always be able to cover for each other. You might be saying, hmm, that's where the manager should come in and edit the schedule since school's just as important as making a living and paying rent, but no. It resulted in me having to choose whether I was going to skip class or work, and when threatened to be terminated, resulted in me losing grade value in my academics since I had to miss certain class days in order to pay rent amongst other necessities. I'm lucky and proud to say though I maintained a healthy GPA. But, when spring rolled around I reluctantly took a semester off. While I desperately wanted to get my degree, I wanted to leave with a high GPA, and I needed a job that supported that.

-I was not the only one she treated poorly. To me, in a way that's a little worse, because I often wondered how she got away with it until I realized I, too wasn't doing anything about it. It didn't feel like there were a lot of options that would keep the job in tact, and it's understandable if others felt that way. She was cool and "in" with the people who could do anything about it, which wasn't in our favor. Saying something risked provoking retaliation or termination in the end.

I believe there's a difference between being assertive and aggressive and that she didn't care to differentiate the actions between those a lot of the time. She talked to us in a way that felt tart and short to say the least and say it verrry daintily. She ignored scheduling needs and left us to fend for ourselves and bank on others availability. Had warm and cold days and spoke to us on those cold days in a way a bitter privileged person might talk to someone who makes their coffee, or shines their shoes. In other words, she put herself on a pedestal so high and distant, it kept employee needs and feedback at bay, creating a gap that made her feel unreachable.

I could go on, but who needs the tell-all? The most important parts are to come: the day I realized things were simply not going to get better, and the day I finally decided to make a change. Don't @ me, but there was totally a gap between the observation versus action jump.

At 22, I'm still very much learning how to trust my gut and when to know when to walk away. Giving up and leaving is never my first option, but the harmful flip side is that sometimes that leads to me holding on to things or people who aren't what I need simply because I see potential and it draws me to want to hold out and stay. This was definitely one of those cases. Ideally, my career at Nordstrom would have fit hand in hand time-wise with my degree in fashion merchandising and marketing, and with those two contributors, my blog, and other relevant hobbies, it would blend together nicely to make a fresh pressed resume, and hopefully land me in a dream of a job in fashion.

In short, the day I caught the reality of my situation went like this: I had been called into Carter's office to talk scheduling. Guess what the conflict was this time?

Points to those who guessed school, yet again!

This time, I had notified her of my intent to take a class during the summer, this time only one. I did it over text solely so there was a "hard copy" lying around accessible to both of us to refer back to. She replied back to not text her outside of work hours. Laughing to myself curtly, I immediately thought back to the first day of work when she told me I, in fact could text her as much I needed. The meeting was the first time we had talked in person about the experience.

She calls me in. I inhale and sit down. Right out of the gate, the environment is tense, and straight to the point. "The scheduling switches and requests are getting out of hand. I need you to get your schedule in order. You're texting me one schedule, I have you for another schedule here, you need to get it sorted out, and give it back to me. "Simply elaborating on what I already told her I explained how the semester classes had changed, though it was then I realized she knew my ideal schedule all along and had still opted to give me sporadic work dates. It was hard not to see her differently, to see the professional side . I hadn't asked for a set schedule to so I could go shopping with my friends, I was working on something very valid and necessary to my growth, and she actively chose when she got to work against that.

The schedule review ends as swiftly as it began, and she reiterated the boundary of not texting her phone. Tells me it's "more adult" to talk about matters in person. Which would be true, if I actually had the opportunity to talk to her. However it was a regular occurrence for me to not be scheduled the same dates as her, or her be on the second or third floor, inaccessible to us. I exhale and nod, with deja vu taking me back to how I'd deal with my dad in disagreements as a kid, verbally shutting down, even then. Shrinking back to 7 years old it felt like, all I could do is nod and say "okay", so as not to poke the bear and create more chaos. On and on she went, one pointed tick after another, with no room for conversation. One thing in particular that she said though, forced me back into that current body and time, and I had to cover for myself.

She had said " I'm not sure how me and Sarah* can help you. I don't know what you need from us to feel confident and do your job."

That was the line dipped in honey glazed wryness and sarcasm that did it. She was chipping deeper into that sentiment, but it was around then that I stopped listening

She was barely with me and my team mates. She was going off of what she was being told, but never once checked with my team mates or I for our stories. She turned out to be the kind of person who saw me correcting the accusation as "the others lying" when I tried to elaborate instead. Containing no more room for misunderstanding, simple black and white corner style argument politics, I finally cut to the chase.

"You guys could be there more". I treaded lightly.

I didn't expect her to stop talking, so I kept going while I could.

"I mean just yesterday I reached out to Sarah* seeking help for a customer and on top of having me chase her down unprofessionally while said customer is watching this fail of an act of collaboration, when I finally do, she literally got on the escalator as I asked my question and turned around to mumble her answer more than halfway up towards the second floor. She had to have known I couldn't hear her. I ended up having to take even more time out of the customers day to track down the MIC [store manager in charge] to find the accurate answer. It would have taken no more than 5 minutes of her time to help me." I didn't even mention I was one of the only ones getting that treatment from her. That there were more instances like this I could rattle off about.

Carters response? A stone cold, unprofessional, memorably haughty "so what we aren't going to do, is blame others for our short comings".

I was shocked. All I could do was blink. What do you do when you realize you simply won't be able to see eye to eye with someone?

The focus suddenly became about protecting myself, while remaining professional. " I simply answered your question. Feeling supported would be helpful and right now I just feel like you're misunderstanding where I'm coming from." To which she pulled the ultimate shutdown and gaslight. " No Tianna, I hear what you're saying, I just don't like or need any attitude."

My attit-

My WHATTTTT?!?!

I had to physically bite my tongue to keep my mouth shut. Yet another person telling me what I was doing or how I was being without knowing the first thing about me or my character. Only this one had say-so in whether I got consistent or scarce hours. She was purposely putting me in situations I would falter in. She was intentionally committed to misunderstanding me. In her world, she didn't have to. Within three phrases I found myself feeling cornered and powerless. She put me on payroll to follow directions and sell, and that was it, it was clicking. It was then I realized, maybe I don't need a workplace where they listen to every word and idea, but it's definitely important to me that they value their employees.

Something in me switched off, and I stared, nodded and dissociated the rest of the conversation, until she sent me back out to finish the last half of my shift. Completely burnt out, I felt emotionally withered. I knew that even though I loved the assignments that came with the job, the environment, and future of growth opportunities within the company, it was not what I was looking for anymore, at least not where I was located. I was ready for more. I had officially mentally checked out of Nordstrom. It was hard to respect someone who had no regard for my teammates or I, yet expected us to float seamlessly on the floor making continued sales with limited guidance and watered down instructions.

Unfortunately for me, it wasn't until a month and a half later when I lost hours to new hires, that I realized how unchangeably dispensable to Carter I really was, and actively began working towards a change for myself. What had began clicking before officially was now blinding to me. It was time to get back to the drawing board.

All is well that ends well, though. I found not one but two jobs, and selected both based off of interest: one at a pottery place, while keeping one paw in retail. I'm not even two months old at either of these places, so time will tell how things come to be. Of greater personal importance, I am no longer bound to people who often times, didn't value me as an employee, let alone a person. There's a whole story on Sarah* trying to feed me to the wolves on the busiest floor of the store, the day after one of my friends from my hometown passed away. Never mind the fact that I notified both managers of the event ahead of time, as well as my mental fragility/boundaries. Ah, another tale, another time.

It takes more than playing the part to be an impactful and acclaimed manager. Empathy, emotional intelligence, active communication and ones own self accountability are just as important as the expectations had, as well as treatment and orders given. While I of course wish the relationship dynamics I had with my managers went more smoothly, I am immensely grateful for the opportunity to have got my foot in the fashion door, and I have high hopes for what's to come.

*Names changed for confidentiality.