Letting Our Guards Down: Strength or Weakness?

My take, plain and simple? The strongest people I've met or observed have always been vulnerable, accessible. That isn't to say there are no boundaries. People often misconstrue this idea and think that to let their guards down is to give someone many pieces of themselves if not all. I've been in that boat, especially recently and realized it doesn't have to be that way, all black and white. It was suggested to me to basically test waters of relationships, leaving room to eb and flow. Setting boundaries when issues occur, giving a fair chance to come correct, because we all mistakes, but, of course, to make it repeatedly shows lack of listening, caring, and quite frankly, competency.

I tossed the blog topic idea around with one of my parents in conversation picking his brain, knowing likely he had the same answer, as I did learn some of my social values watching him after all. We were on the same page on this of course, but I liked his take on the closed off, the unreachable: " People playing games, the ones unable to let their guards down, they're blocked". Breaking that down, he meant they were hiding, not being authentic within themselves. In other words, these kinds of people are not yet secure enough in themselves to allow a vacant place in their hearts or thoughts for just anyone.

I hate all the stigma behind not being guarded. People have molded it into seeming "desperate" or "clingy". Being sensitive even. I get it, toooo much, do I get how easy it is to remain guarded. There's some pride in looking like a bad b, feeling untouchable. The trouble with that is no one is perfect 24/7. You're bound to screw up sometime, and acting a type of way, keeping people at arms length only disservices you, because you lose out on a chance at a new friend/relationship. I had this question in the back of my mind while trying to decide my personal answer to this prompt: What if the other person is fake, while I'm being real? It was joined by another: What if I'm my entire self, and they vacantly don't like me for me? Two things I hadn't realized I kind of really feared. Meditating on it I concluded this: How someone else is, or thinks of me has nothing to do with me. It won't take away from who I am. Someone thinking I'm ugly or a bad person doesn't mean I have to agree. Whatever the situation or reasoning it's not my job to be what or who others want me to be. The whole point of being yourself is finding people that acknowledge your value without having to jump through hoops!

It takes strength and practice to remain unafraid to be your true self in any form, at any place. So many hot spots on this Earth suck the creativity and authenticity out of humans from a young age. From school rooms and sports teams, to new blossiming relationships with all these different energies and personalities from people, it's so easy to go chameleon and play to their similarities in effort to formulate a connection, but for the love of love if a guy says he's into sports and you're not, don't lie in an effort to blend in, as this is also a form of keeping your guard up!! He's not learning about the real you if you're playing People Pleaser! If a potential new friend is into cars and you're into makeup, suggest you wouldn't mind learning about them as opposed to jumping the gun in an attempt to getting ahead, claiming you too love cars. Then she'll likely be excited, asking your favorite brand make and model, but you can't name anything, and now you look untrustworthy. The lesson here? Never dial yourself down in attempt to connect or be seen by others. Don't worry, your people will find you.