Panic Attacks: Handling Ours, Helping Others

COVID be damned. Any progress we thought we were making was randomly halted by the pandemic causing emotional and financial whiplash. But lets be honest, life was stressful before, and will continue to be so. At most, we can learn tools and phrases to de-escalate these mind tsunamis.

It's no secret Depression is also like a virus in a way. It births its children, Anxiety and Anger, and together, they roam the earth in portals such as Instagram, and High School, sets up camp in Society, poaching it's next wide eyed, unguarded victims.

Panic attacks are a byproduct of anxiety, and maybe you don't get triggered by social media, but you don't have enough money to pay your bills and eat sufficient meals. Maybe you don't pay rent, but can't find a job for the life of you. Life comes at us from all sides and angles at any time of day, invitation or not. You or a loved one are bound to lose your shit here and there, that's no secret. The key is not letting these attacks weigh you down continuously, the key is to have a scapegoat that grants you peace. If you're lucky, tweaking out doesn't come natural to you, you could very well be chill and laid back and with an anxious person that can go really well, or reverse intentions and make the outcome worse. Some phrases should be avoided when conversing with fragile emotions, I've compiled a short sample list of what I've found helpful, or have realized that it in fact is not helpful, and is better off being avoided.

N: What's your problem? (isolating)

N: Don't cry. (silencing)

N: It could be worse.(invalidating)

N: I'm not sure what you want me to do about it. (then why ask what the matter is?)

N: *silence* (big no no-- can promote negative thinking and feelings of regret and isolation)

N: I can't deal with that right now. (dismissing issue)

N: I'm sorry. (what does that do for anyone?)

N: I wish things were better. (wishing and being sorry, these accomplish nothing)

N: My heart breaks for you. (pitying, the last thing a person in need would want)

We don't need pity friends, and we don't need our loved ones to solve our problems. We want a listening ear, responses more like:

"Thank you for telling me"

"Would a hug make things better or worse?"

"What tools do you usually use in this situation? Do you need new ones?"

"Do you need a listening ear or would you like advice at the end?"

"Is this something we need to solve right now, or can we take a step back for some time to recollect?"

There may be days when you're feeling apprehensive yourself, and may not have the energy to help. I use a phrase along the lines of:

"Thank you for telling me. I love you so much, and want to give the best A1 advice, if that's what you're requesting. Do you mind if I table it and come back when I have something useful?"

I don't one-up them with my problems, and I don't push them towards feeling avoided. I let them know I value them, and my word, and in giving myself time to think it gives them time to seek out refuge whether it be in their self made tool box packed with funny videos, nature walks, reading, etc, or in finding someone who may be better equipped to help at that point in time.

Your loved one, or you even, may be in need of new tools in your toolbox for dwindling down from the storms of panic. I myself have had panic attacks where my coping mechanisms that usually work wonders, no longer apply to the situation. It's because of this I have a list of multiple tools, and if those don't work I know my parents, and close friends are just a call away. Here are some I use, that, if needed of course you and your family/frien can use.

Meditation- My favorite way to decompress if no one is around. I select guided ones when my mind is in a ruckus, but on a good day, meditative music is all I need, I guide myself through whatever emotions presented themselves to me that day

Cooking- When I have the energy I'll cook something comforting and be mindful while doing so, paying attention to how I'm crafting my meal, adding special things for me here and there, to let me know I care about my wellbeing

Aromatherapy- Can be as easy as the steam mixing with your body wash in the shower, or getting a diffuser with your favorite smells as essential oils, coupled with a guided meditation is a god send.

Basic Self Care- Shower, get yourself in some comfy jammies if your days done. Lather on your favorite smelling lotion, put on some peaceful music-- not the rap playlist wi hard bass and lyrics of someone in a better spot than you, but maybe mellow music, if not instrumental , to give your mind time to process emotions without someone else's words mixing in with your own. If you're really a natural, try gathering your thoughts in silence. I'm not there yet, I stream a playlist of waves with piano music in the background, two of my favorite calming things. And I of course write. Write my experiences so that one day I can help others now arriving at where I've already been, and will likely visit again.

Movie Night- Make a thing out of it. Heat up some popcorn, pick an old fav or dare to try something new. Put on a face mask, make your favorite drink, and live in the moment. For at least 1.5-2hrs you know you're safe, the problems you have will still be there, but at least you'll hopefully be in a better place to handle it

When all else fails, NAP- sometimes we stress and panic because we don't listen to our bodies. I get mad when I'm hungry, and sad when I'm tired sometimes. I always feel like I'm on go mode while also usually feeling like I'm not going fast enough, which can cause a panic, because I want desperately to succeed. I could easily explain to you the loop I constantly put myself in, but the point is that I'm learning I will get there and my mind jumping to panic mode is just my ego caring a lot about where we're headed and when I'll get there. The number one thing to remember is that we all get stressed. We need to remember we're on the same team, chasing success. And we have to be our own friends if we want to get to where we're headed.